Unbranded

Years ago, around 2010, I was working at my last school.
(This was the time before I discovered and embraced the unschooling life for my daughter and myself)

One day, during an arts&crafts activity, the children, aged six (around eight of them around that table) were talking about their sandals.
I was sitting at the same table and could follow the entire conversation, but they did not seem to take notice of me.
They were talking about the sandals they were all wearing (yes, all of them) and this particular footwear being of a certain popular brand of cork-type-sandals, which I shall not mention here.

The attention went to one of the eight children, a girl, also six.
Some of the children started telling her that she was not wearing sandals from the particular brand everyone else was wearing and she was made fun of: “Yours are unbranded, cheap copies, lalala.”
This continued (she was told she could not attend an upcoming birthdayparty/could not sit with them)
and this really upset her, obviously.

I don’t know how bold they had to be to do this in front of me!
(I was sitting next to them)
I looked under the table to take a quick look at the sandals (that had this status in the eyes of SIX year olds) and then I looked at hers. They were not plain, like the others were wearing, but with a floral pattern.

I cut them off (I was quite firm) and then said:
“Well, I don’t wear that brand myself and I actually prefer N’s sandals (the girl with the ubranded ones)
They are really pretty and look so comfortable. I would definitely wear those if they sold them in my size.”

The girl N. was really beaming now, but the bullies were speechless and staring at me. I could tell they had expected me to agree with them, really.
Most shocking is that they were SIX year olds.
Nowadays it is probably even worse.

I was reminded of a moment in my own schoolyears, in secondary school.
I was around 14 and remember sitting at the frontdesk in the classroom. I was busy writing something, when I was tapped on my shoulder. I looked up and this girl asks me:

“Do you know who L.L Cool J is?”

I replied with: “Huh?”, before I even realised what she was asking .
(I was too surprised about the random question by someone who had never addressed me before that I didn’t even reply, nor was given the time to, but no, I did in fact not know who it was)
and this girl looks me straight in the eye and says:

“Then you do not belong with us.”

I had no idea what it was I did not belong to. A secret club/friends/L.L admiration group (and to this day I don’t and I wonder at times when I need a laugh, but I’m very happy I didn’t)
It was funny and absurd, really, but not for the fourteen year old me.

Why did the sandals remind me of the above?

Well, I guess I am very UNBRANDED.

I quickly found out who L.L Cool J was, but never wore the branded cork sandals, to this day.
I just don’t care.
I wore a fabric rose pinned on one knee of my jeans. Also aged 14. Then the same L.L Cool J-girl said to me, from behind, loudly:
“There is something on your knee.” I calmly said: “I know. I like it.
Alhough it did feel very unpleasant and there were laughs, I did not stop wearing it.
If I could do that as a shy 14 year old- and peerpressure for teens should not be underestimated, you should see me now!

My daughter seeing me this way, more and more authentically me and her not being around bullies with brands who think they belong, will give her such a headstart. It’s challenging, it takes courage, but most of all it’s freedom.

Unbranded, unbothered ❤️

Mikica